Next year, same time, things will probably be somewhat different from where I am now. These are the classified reports keeping the home front informed about what's really going on in Canadia.
A recent survey showed that Canadia is considered a “universal popular country” by the rest of the world. Canadia cheered and did a little victory dance singing “we are the champions”, but most certainly also “those are the losers” whilst excessively pointing at their southern neighbours. The cheerfulness lasted a while but eventually the Canadians scratched themselves on their head and wondered “but why, eh?”.
As it turned out, no one had a clue what Canadia is all aboot. Since they kinda look American, talk like an American, but unlike America they don't invade countries when the politicians feel like it, the rest of the world probably thought “meh, then they must be a'right”.
The Canadians must have felt like it was time they ended that “friendly quiet” image and show the world what Canadia stands for. It was time the world acknowledged Canadian Power, time to show the world Canadia has teeth and isn't afraid to use it... and last Saturday was that day.
My Saturday began around 11:00 AM in a pub. A pub filled with English football fans trying to yell their country to a victory over the Israelites ... and three Scots cheering whenever the Israelites did something that looked like it could mean trouble for the English. The match was so good, large amounts of beer were necessary to keep the spirits of the fans up. Not entirely against expectations, it ended in a solid 0 – 0 draw, enough reason for more beer.
Maybe we should have joined the ritual of celebrating a lousy game. Instead, on the way back, my English companion and myself ended up in the Demonstration of Canadian Power.
It was slaughter, it was violent, it showed exactly what Canadia at its worst is capable of... and I didn't bring any recording device to share what it witnessed there. Luckily we're living in the Web 2.0 world and sure enough not long after I found a accurate report on YouTube.
Before you hit 'play', I do wish to point out that I take no responsibility for the contents shown.
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. (Winston Churchill)
Oneliners and other things that may make you smile
