Blue / Yellow Intermission

Next year, same time, things will probably be somewhat different from where I am now. These are the classified reports keeping the home front informed about what's really going on in Canadia.

The hockey games are frequently interrupted by commercials. Nowadays these commercial messages are not necessarily restricted to the television. When attending a game, one will see the players stop the game every so many minutes. Most likely giving the chaps at the tv station the much needed opportunity to leech as much monetary gain out of our attention as they can. So to stay in style, let's switch to the commercials.

This blog is brought to you by the Swedish Yellow Blues of: Ikea.

“Do you need your new house decorated with affordable furniture ? Do you wish to stay in style with the latest in home decoration ? Here at the Ikea we offer you exactly what you need. You too can dress up your home exactly like your friends / co-workers or other relatives ! Come and visit one of our many stores”

I have no special feelings for the Ikea. Their products are generally pretty mediocre in terms of durability and style. Moreover, for some reason I always end up with the products which have the holes for the screws just a few millimeters off from wherever they were supposed to be. This meant that at the best the screw would put up a big fight and eventually gets stuck halfway at an odd angle, or at the worst I'd give up after some prodding and poking. Don't be surprised if you find some “leftover material” in my old apartment, on top or near a certain Ikea item. Some day I intend to use them, unless the SO decided otherwise and toss them away, knowing that my idea of “some day” can be pretty close to “whenever”, the relative of “never”.

Despite these gripes, my place back in the old world is – naturally - filled with a lot of Ikea products. From the good old “bookaåse”, the resilient “bedmessö” to the britle “klöruhkahstingge”.

As it turns out, the highly successful Swedish furniture manufacturer, has invaded Canadia as well. Being in need of some affordable and mediocre items to sit, lie and put stuff on, I turned to my fellow Yellow / Blue European friends...

The Vancouver area is blessed with at least three Ikeas and adventurous as I tend to be, I ended up going to the most the remote one, in the far end of the plains of Coquitlam.

Braid, Ikea station

If any one has the somewhat odd, if not downright ridiculous desire to come all the way from where ever they live, to visit a Canadian Ikea, I can save you the trip and tell you a little secret: the Ikea dogma dictates that every Ikea must be 100% the same, everywhere. Walking into the Ikea in outer Coquitlam, is exactly like walking into the same inspirationless store in Delft (Holland). Two floors, the upper one dedicated to mock up living rooms / bathrooms / bedrooms and kitchens and the lower floor to the actual goods / lightning / decorative stuff and pots and pans. You will also find exactly the same crowd as in any other place: students looking for a cheap couch, first-house-owners and me.

After an hour of looking around, trying out couches, testing tables and convincing a Canadian kid all Ikea furniture come with a real, very scary and very lethal authentic Swedish troll, I went for two lamps, a coffee table and a sofa bed (*).

scary swedish trolls included with Ikea furniture

Thinking back, maybe I shouldn't have done that troll story as it seriously screwed up my karma for that day and things would get... “interesting”.

Next week: Customer Service, Ikea Style

(*) Anyone with the intentions of visiting and staying over at my place: you will get the pleasure of sleeping on this baby.

more boobies

Housing

Next year, same time, things will probably be somewhat different from where I am now. These are the classified reports keeping the home front informed about what's really going on in Canadia.

Vancouver as seen from the south (near McDonald and 32 West)

The current roof over my head is paid for by my generous employer. While this gesture is quite nice, they will only be paying for the time span of two months. After those two months I either have the choice to stay where I am now and pay a substantial amount of my net income to the real estate agency, find a suitable alternative, or join the hordes of homeless that roam the streets.

Although I like the idea of absolute liberty and freedom, the latter isn't really a long lasting option. With the upcoming Olympics, rumor has it the local government has decided it will “take care” of the homeless as many other governments have done before. Because these actions may be seen as not so very humane, the government installed a countdown clock. This clock precisely informs the local unhoused how much time they have before the yet undisclosed “operation clean Vancouver before the Olympics start” begins.

The first option, paying the rent of my overpriced temporary housing, doesn't work either. Since I need the money to explore all the interesting sides and sites of Vancouver, paying large sums of money for suboptimal living quarters seems a bit of a waste.

In conclusion I'm on a quest to find a place to stay for a longer period.

Effective Advertising, no seriously it works

Sadly that isn't as easy as it sounds as the Vancouver housing market is (still) in overdrive. The average income on this side of Canada is about $44k (which is roughly equivalent to 4somethingK euros, at the best). Common sense dictates that housing prices should be about five times as much (220K), however the actual average price is more than double that amount. So the local population keeps buying, selling and renting places out at speculative level far above the reasonable.

Naturally I find this tendency objectionable because I'm on the wrong side of this phenomena. This being on the wrong side of things, requires me to make trips to faraway and remote places in North Van, Burnaby and Northern Richmond as downtown is simply too expensive in general. In these outer areas one can admire the desolate suburban landscapes, dire homes without any trace of character and the chill of ending up on a socially deserted island...

Burnaby Suburbia

Common sense also suggests that the housing market will somehow, someday will suffer a “correction” which won't be totally unlike to the anticipated Cascadia Subduction Zone “correction” ... while I'm all in favor for corrections in my benefit, let's just hope these two will not be correlated in any way.