Another week, another quote from the latest literary acquisition. More comedy books, as I find myself in need for a lot of additional humor lately. Since looking into the mirror doesn't quite cut it anymore after 31 years, I buy comedy books... No worries, this ain't another bluesy emo blog.
What is this man doing ? (<- Click the link) If you're answer was: "whipping cream" you lack imagination, I recommend going out more doing things you shouldn't do. If your answer was "whipping cream prior to desert on a Thanksgiving party", you probably were at the same place I was last week.
beer time ?"Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day, is a traditional North American holiday to give thanks at the conclusion of the harvest season. Canada celebrates Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October, and the United States celebrates the holiday on the fourth Thursday of November." [Wiki]
Luckily with the friends I have over here, I found myself invited to a thanksgiving party. My first Canadian Thanksgiving. Ironically, my first Canadian Thanksgiving was amongst a group of people who consisted mostly of Brits, complemented with a Japanese woman and one token Canadian. (If you feel like it, try to spot the Canadian amongst the people in these pictures. Hint: it's not this guy, nor is it her, she is the Japanese woman (1))
The Canadians celebrate thanksgiving differently from their southern neighbors. Besides celebrating it on different days, singing different songs, feeling guilty about different victims of racial genocide, the Canadians don't serve the traditional Butterballs, but meese (2).
thanksgiving requires an excessive amount of thinkingIf you look close enough at the pictures provided, you will notice a shocking lack of moose meat, despite the genuine efforts of the host and hostess of the party ...
In a course of bad luck for tradition, meese hunting was outlawed in Canadia. Interesting enough, there are ways around that law. If you - by accident - run into a moose and kill it in the process, you're still free to take it home and eat it (3). After all, a dead moose is just roadkill and nothing prohibits you from eating roadkill. The downside of this loophole in legislation is that around this time it's not quite safe to cross the streets anymore with all the Canucks driving like maniacs hoping to hit a moose (or create some random roadkill; no one will note the difference, unless you hit a skunk).
Being good sports, the British organizers didn't want to miss out on this typical Canadian meese hunting tradition. They rented a cheap car that looked like it could kill a moose and set out.
The entire world outside the former empire knows the British are "different" when it comes to driving (4), most notoriously is their driving-on-the-left-side-of-the-road-habit. It's a habit that's hard to kill as the driver of a Pizza delivery car found out. Just after his life flashed by and before passing out, he saw two Brits hopping out of the vehicle that was stuck in the place occupied by his engine just five minutes ago. Later in the hospital, he told investigators about the sensation of being prodded and someone saying something along the lines of "Blimey, I thought Meese looked tastier, this one isn't even dead. I say, what do we do now dear ... am I smelling pizzas ?"
And thus it came to pass that my first Canadian Thanksgiving was mooseless. Nevertheless, the lack of meese meat and the substitute pizzas didn't do anything to dampen the spirits at the party. After all there was good food, friends, songs and we had no bad conscience to deal with...
(1) Looks can be deceiving.
(2) The English language is horribly inconsistent. Why would the plural of a word change when you change the G into a M ? It makes no sense. It has to stop... and don't get me started on the subject of pronunciation.
(3) Your car will be wrecked as well; it's considered compensation on the moose's behalf.
(4) Different as in politically correct for "obviously retarded".
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