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Next year, same time, things will probably be somewhat different from where I am now. These are the attempts to write an entertaining collection of meaningless contemplations and tales leading up to the coming changes...

What does this look like ? For those thinking: “a twelve year old Park Bass 15w amp series GB 15-10, two outputs, 1 head out, 3 way eq and one on / off switch, bought at the now late feedback music store in The Hague, Holland”:

You. Are. So. Wrong.

This is, in fact, -the- -little- -brother- of this big huge powerhouse, who's now touring the vicinity of Zaandam as J.B's new best bass friend. If you ever come across it, please tell it I said “hi – no hard feelings I hope”. Yes I sold my good old amp.

Selling, the big amp was one thing, however it is not the only thing I need to action of my to-do list.

One of the most frequently asked questions these days next to: “is that your real face ?”, is, “do you still have a lot to take care of before you leave ?”. I usually sigh heavily, rub my eyes, give them an extremely tired stare and mutter “yes”.

While for the time being, I'm just taking two suitcases, there are quite a few things to think about before the good old Canadian Govt accepts you and mother Holland lets you go. Although most of the actions range from irrelevant to not relevant at all, it quickly adds up. Here's the short list of the twenty most time consuming actions, in a yet to be determined order:

1. Figure out the transportation system in Vancouver, from a distance, over the Internets.
   (Find out how much my own moose would cost me.)
   
   

2. Determine what to bring from civilization.
   (and what you can get there for glass beads and shells.)
   
   

3. Install the new webcam I got from friends.

   (Curiously enough they don't have a webcam themselves ... or so they claim.)
   (note to self: keep the moose in the closet)
   
   

4. Call (that last) friend I haven't spoken to yet.
   (hope he remembers who I am).
   
   

5. Pay one more visit to the dentist,
   (I heard lumberjacks have their own way of getting rid of bad teeth)
   
   

6. Book flight back.
   (you know just in case)
   
   

7. Have a slothy civil servant validate that another slutty civil servant, is actually allowed and entitled to give me a birth certificate. Both of them only work a negative 1 hour a day and are continuously on a coffee break.

   (No I'm not kidding.)
   
   

8. Pack stuff. Pending 2.
   (note to self 2: bring toilet paper)
   
   

9. Arrange an apartment in Canadia.
   (Found a nice log cabin for a reasonable amount of beads and a camel, don't ask)
   
   

10. Book a place to stay for the first night, since I won't have my keys until day two. Working days in Canadia go from 9:00 to 17:00; I arrive at 16:30, by the time I arrange a transport to the city center it will be 17:01...
    
    

11. Get a bear proof suitcase.
    
    

12. Update wardrobe.
    (Canadian tux is already accounted for, as shown here by this model, but I need more stuff.)
    
    
    

    hot model demonstrates my Canadian outfit, bag provided by the SO's
    

13. Get gifts for the locals who helped me. I heard the savages can be appeased with sweet stuff.
    (Hope I have enough)
    
    

14. Find an obscure whiskey brand which could fuel the economy of three sub Sahara states, for a specific local.
    (to do when at location: Hire guards to protect the shipment from my apartment to hers)
    
    

15. Get documents from bank, proving I actually have some savings. Same problems as 7 apply.
    (Problematic one, spend one day photoshopping my bank statements so the red color won't show)
    
    

16. Arrange for a bank in Canadia.
    (Figure out what the conversion euro to bead is)
    
    

17. Get Canadian currency
    (Go to the beach to collect some currency (shells) and pillage SO's jewelery for beads.)
    
    

18. See if I can find an agency to insure for misplaced chopped down trees, bears, husky bites, and mooseknuckles. Seems normal travel insurance doesn't cover this.
    (The SO considers this a typical case of Dutch overinsurance)
    
    

19. Go over tax effects when leaving Holland with tax adviser.
    (Make the Dutch govt go for the old “hey look at that”-trick)
    
    

20. Cancel blood signed contracts which cannot be canceled, ANWB (roadside assistance), insurances, webservers, retirement plan, Donald Duck comic book subscription. Cash in Hoogvlietspaarzegels.
    
    

21. Repack stuff because I'm taking more than I can carry.

Part 3: Forest
Exposition of a friend of mine, Oscar Stegehuis. You can find more work of him on his website or on YouTube.